A Natural Born Coward
by Masters of Heartbreak
Summary: Harry was everyone's savior; Draco was a Death Eater. No matter what happened or however much either of them wanted it, it wasn't as if they could ever be anything but lifelong enemies. Draco knew that. Harry took longer to figure it out. Just as long as Draco took to understand his feelings...because he was too much of a coward to face them. But what's the harm in just waiting?


**This was my first real ship so I had to write something for them. Loosely based on the song "A Natural Born Coward." Slah pairings and some mild heartbreak ahead. Enjoy. I own nothing at all but my writing. **

**A Natural Born Coward**

 **By: MadHatterLilith**

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Potter the "Boy-Who-Lived". Potter the insufferable, busybody git. Potter, the boy he admired as a child for being able to take down true evil without even trying. Harry Potter, the boy he hated, his lifelong rival. They were on opposite sides of the war: Harry was the hero of Hogwarts while Draco was the toy of the Death Eaters.

They saw through him; they knew he wasn't cut out for that life. He could never use the Unforgivable curses on muggles or other undesirables be they half-bloods or muggleborns. He could make the motions and say the words but the intent was never there. He couldn't shake the Imperius curse as well as the others, and he flinched noticeably around Nagini as she fed on the corpses. He was their favorite to torture when they got bored. They had to threaten him and his family to get him to do their bidding...Draco committed atrocities in the name of the Dark Lord, had his mark seared onto his flesh, but he was never truly a Death Eater. After all, even in battle, as Harry had told them after they returned for their eighth year, he couldn't forget the emotion in Draco's eyes when he saw the dead. It wasn't the glee of a faithful and true Death Eater; it was the pain and grief of a lost young boy. Nor, Harry had also admitted with a small smile, could he forget the happiness and hope in Draco's eyes when the Slytherin learned Harry was still alive.

The blond pureblood constantly told himself Harry was wrong. He had to be; nobody could do what he had done in Voldemort's name without being evil, without being a Death Eater. Even if others forgave him as captured fellow and foolishly loyal Death Eaters spoke about him with contempt, howling about how he was a good for nothing coward, nothing more than a play toy, that they shouldn't have expected more from the son of Lucius…No matter what anyone said or did Draco could never forget his role in supporting the Dark Lord's second rise to power. He could never forget bringing the Death Eaters into Hogwarts that night. He could never forgive himself for a single one of his actions during that time.

"You hate me!" He reminded Potter back in their eighth year. "So why do you keep following me and talking to me like we're friends?! Aren't you sickened by what I am?!" Although painful, he'd gotten in the habit of clutching his arm, his dark mark, while talking to, or more often, yelling and screaming at Harry. It was a reminder of sorts that they were enemies for life. But this time he held it too hard, his firm grip causing fresh blood to start soaking through the sleeve of his robes. Trust busybody Potter to notice it right away; couldn't he keep his nose where it belonged for once?!

The stupid meddling Gryffindor pulled Draco's hand from his arm to expose the ugly marked flesh. Hissing from the pain, Draco almost missed the gasp of horror Harry let out when he saw the wounds. "Bloody hell, Draco!" He shouted with a twinge of panic and concern in his voice. "D-Did you try to cut it off?!"

"Shut up, Potter!" Draco tried to pull his arm away, but Potter's grip was too strong. _How the hell did he have such a strong grip when the only sport he did was Quidditch?!_ Draco caught himself thinking.

"I know you hate seeing it, Draco, but…" Harry continued, using the boy's first name like it was the most normal thing in the world. "But you can't hurt yourself like that! The people who love you are here for you so please don't do this to yourself!" The young man's fingers only ghosted over the cuts for a second as Harry tried to see how serious his cuts were, but it still hurt the blond enough for him to let out a loud yelp in pain. It wasn't from the touch at all. In fact, the touch was so gentle it made him want to cry. It hurt something other than his arm but he couldn't for the life of him say what or why.

"Sod off, Potter!" He yelled, war-honed fight-or-flight instincts kicking in.

Potter let out a long, irritated sigh. "Why do you always have to make this so hard for us? Why can't we just get along? I do owe you that, you know!" That stung more than it should've. He only owed Draco his kindness and friendship. It wasn't given at all freely. "Are you okay, Draco?" He asked, seeing the hurt in his stormy gray eyes.

Malfoy pushed him away harshly, taking advantage of his loosened grip to pull his arm free. Fighting back tears he couldn't quite explain to even himself, the Slytherin weakly shot back, "Leave me alone, Harry." Malfoy pushed him away to hurt him…and hurt himself as well.

In the days that followed, everything seemed to go back to how it used to be. Potter and Malfoy were bitter rivals. Harry didn't try to intercept him in the halls for a chat and Draco tried his best not to let his thoughts or eyes linger on Harry for too long. He continued to push Harry away…except at the drinking parties.

When they were both falling over their feet drunk, they were almost best friends! They laughed, joked, even playfully flirted with each other…Worse than the hangovers was the realization that they could never be like that without the alcohol. One good thing came out of it though…It was when he looked back on the twinkle in Harry's eye as they laughed together, Draco could, for the first time, successfully cast the Patronus charm.

His first corporeal Patronus came from a much more bittersweet memory…At the very last party of the year, Harry finally got him alone. They were, or Draco assumed Harry was, drunk as hell when it happened. "Draco, I-" Harry had tried to say something after that brief kiss, but Draco didn't want to hear it. On the verge of sobbing and clutching his scarred arm, he did what, rumor had it, Malfoys did best. He fled.

Graduation came and went all too quickly. The kiss changed nothing between them…they were still Malfoy and Potter. It just became an incident they'd never speak of, that they'd pretend had never occurred. Despite what it, for whatever reason, meant to Draco, it was merely a drunk accident to Harry. Why bother to bring it up when he already knew the answer he'd get in reply to his inquiries?

Years later, the pureblood sat alone in that cold, empty manor his family had once been so proud of. Despite the unpleasant memories of the evil that once resided there, Draco still treasured it as the only real link he had to his lost family. He poured himself drink after drink, staring at the two envelopes in front of him, one small and the other large enough to be a card…both from Potter.

One was obvious, he'd reasoned, though a bit odd. Perhaps it was a last-minute thing or just a matter of manners. After all, Harry Potter could hardly leave the house with reporters getting all up in his business. Even someone who merely skimmed the articles about him in the Prophet rags like Draco would know about the upcoming event in the savior's life. The other however…He downed another glass of fire whiskey before he opened the smaller of the two.

 _"Dear Draco,_

 _"I know that chances are you won't come, even if you are invited. That's why I was a bit reluctant at first but…I must do this anyhow. It's only right. See, things were getting good between us. We were almost friends! I was looking forward to seeing you studying and bickering with Hermione, playing chess with Ron (and maybe even sometimes beating him), and loved the thought of flying with you even if there was no competition involved._

 _"I'm sorry I got greedy. I wanted your friendship, but I also wanted you! Maybe at the time, I was just confused but after all this time apart I doubt that's truly the case anymore. We've spent years apart without exchanging a word to each other but I can't stop thinking about you. I fell for you even as you pushed me away. Weird, huh? I honestly thought you felt the same. That's why I kissed you that night. I thought that last party was my last chance; I really liked you, Draco!_

 _"When you pushed me away, I got the hint. You didn't feel the same. I should've known before. I'm so sorry…I never meant to push you away with that kiss. I screwed up and I want to fix it. I want to see you happy with friends who love and trust you, who accept you for who you are rather than your past just as I do. Just as you should. But that's not why I'm writing this._

 _"I love Ginny. I wouldn't be with her if I didn't. But there's a part of me that looks at her and wishes she was you instead. Wishes that you were the one I was kissing, holding, touching…but I can't go on like this. It's not right by her or you. That's why I'm going to end it. I'm going to get over you, Draco, but I want to see you again one more time before I do. Not as Malfoy and Potter. As Draco and Harry…I want you to be there to give us your best wishes so I'll know I'm doing the right thing._

 _"So please come. For me._

 _Love,_

 _Harry Potter"_

The blond wizard's fingers trebmled over the words. "Love." Harry loved him. The tears started to fall before he could stop them. Almost violently, he ripped open the other envelope. His hears sunk; it was just as he thought…

 _"You are hereby invited to the wedding of_

 _Harry Potter_

 _And_

 _Ginevra Weasley_ "

His eyes widened as he saw the date. Even if it was a last-minute invite, wasn't that still cutting it a bit close?! He'd only gotten the damn thing yesterday? Who'd deliver an invite the day before the wedding?!

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He rushed right into the church without even stopping to give it a second thought. Standing by the door, he watched Harry kiss his ginger bride and look at her with a loving smile. He watched the person he loved promise his life to another and felt his heart break in his chest. But just as Harry wanted, he smiled widely and wished them the best. At the reception, he and Harry laughed like he always hoped they would. He'd waited so long to be by Harry's side as a friend.

One day, he decided, he'd find the right time to admit and face the feelings inside of him…But until then he'd just wait. Because what else was the for him to do but wait and hide like the natural born coward he was?

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 **I never promised it'd have a happy end. Hope you liked it.**


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